Messy around the edges

There are times- infrequent and fleeting as they may be- when I feel on top of the situation. The laundry basket is empty. The cat is fed, and there is food for her to have tomorrow. The girls’ hair has been brushed, the too-small dress has been returned within the 21 day time frame, the thank you letters have not only been written, but put in envelopes with stamps on and posted.

This is not one of those times. I can’t tell you how many things in my life have got a bit messy around the edges lately.

I think one of my major challenges in life has been trying to overcome my naturally dishevelled state with various strategies and disciplines. It works for a while, but when one goes, I get quickly overwhelmed and discouraged and let the whole shebang disintegrate. Didn’t do the dishes from the dinner party three days ago? Might as well let a whole week’s worth pile up. Didn’t put the last load of clean clothes away? Add all subsequent loads to the pile and henceforth find clothes by digging in heap rather than going to drawers or cupboards. Ate twice my required calories for a month in one sitting? Go on a prolonged rampage and do some proper damage. Miss a week of blogging? Stop writing entirely for so long I get stage fright and tell myself my writing days are behind me.

My spiritual life is messy too. In this season of Lent, when so many take the opportunity to go deeper in their faith, I have pulled up the anchor and gone for a drift.

All this mess is a bit paralysing, but I know what needs to be done:

As I constantly tell my kiddies, I need to make good choices, one after another, as they arise. And so tomorrow morning, I will get up, dust off the Bible, and start the day from there. A new day. A tidier day.

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