I have just had my lunch with the lovely commissioning editor (£25 of steak: how to make a girl feel important). I posed for a picture with a yellow cow outside the restaurant afterwards; actually two pictures. In the first one I was kind of gnawing at its horn which looked awkwardly raunchy and not at all vicar’s wife-ish, so we took another, a “just a girl standing normally by a cow” picture.
“Now,” she said, eyeballing me across the table. “What is this issue you have about marketing? You have a light; you need to shine it. We need to get out a giant wrench and prise you open so everyone can see what you have to offer.”
I told her:
1. I don’t want to have relationships with an agenda. I don’t want to be using contacts and friendships to try and sell a product.
2. I struggle with feeling that what I have to offer is worth anyone’s time or attention.
3. I want to be clear in my head what it is I am working for- I don’t want to build a personal empire, I don’t want it to be all about money, I don’t want recognition or adulation. Or rather, I do
want all those things, but I don’t want to want them.
I ate my expensive steak, she ate her mushroom (more used to lunch on the company than I am), and we kept talking. And I began to understand. I am wired to communicate, and God has given me passions and experiences and a way of seeing life that he wants to use to encourage people. There is little point sitting at the bottom of a well and whispering, hoping someone might notice I’m down there (all humble and unobtrusive and muddy),wonder what I’m muttering about and make the effort to climb down in there with me.
I’m hopeful that between us, Amy and I, we have a book idea that has a future. I want that book to be read. So I’m going to learn about promotion and marketing, and I hope and pray that as I shout to be heard in a noisy world, I won’t become self-seeking,brash or offensive.