Am I brave?
June 16th, 2009
I think the last three speaking engagements have gone pretty well, at least from the perspective of the response that has come afterwards. I suppose what I really hope for is that some people will go away encouraged/ comforted/ built up in their faith/ given permission to be honest about how they really are...
People have said some lovely things, but over and over again I have been told that I am brave, and I always brush it off and say it comes naturally to me to be honest. Today I've been wondering why I don't want to be thought of as brave in this context. Is it because I read into it that if it takes courage to talk about, it is something that most people would keep private? And if that's the case, is it because it is still badly looked upon to struggle with depression? I can answer that. Yes- by some, it is still badly looked upon. But so many, many of us walk this road, and so I am glad to stand up and admit it if it allows others to follow my example.
On a less philosophical note, and by way of update, I am STILL waiting on the publisher's decision about my third book- aaagh. It is a real test of my patience and faith! I started writing two months ago, on the understanding that a contract is "99.9% certain" to come my way. I have written about 10,000 words now, and the more I progress the more brave I have to feel to keep going with no guarentees of publication.
What else? Basil is still alive, and has a friend, Mint, beside him on the window sill. Unfortunately Coriander bit the dust.
That's all for now folks. xxx
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Paula
~ June 16th, 2009 ~ 21:06aww, R.I.P. coriander. Go Go basil and mint!
I think people say you are brave because we brits do not like talking about our private emotions yet alone those that are perceived as 'weaknesses'. Perhaps what they are really saying is 'I couldn't be so open'. But you are doing agreat ministry, keep it up as long as you can.
As to the book, if your current publisher decides not to go ahead with publication, can you offer it elsewhere or are you under contract? Carry on whilst you are in the swing, and I'm sure the lord will have it published at just the right time!
God bless and thanks for the continued encouragemnt through your blog.
Amber
~ June 20th, 2009 ~ 12:06I noticed with envy your very impressive basil plant when I was there. As I write there is a dead coriander plant sitting on my porch - Paul still holds out hope that it will make a comeback...
Hazel~ June 29th, 2009 ~ 00:06I think you are brave! I think it is still a bit of a taboo subject to talk about depression, maybe particularly within the church where there can be a pressure to appear a little too sorted? I find it comforting & encouraging when folk within the church admit to ongoing struggles.
jo
~ June 29th, 2009 ~ 08:06Okay- I will accept that there is some courage involved. I think sometimes it is tempting to speak in a disengaged way, removed from the real pain of depression, and that is when it seems easier. I should step up to the challenge of speaking straight out of the reality of it and then I will accept the "brave" label and feel I deserve it.
Suellen
~ July 5th, 2009 ~ 00:07I think you are very brave, in so many ways!!! Depression is a well-kept secret. Not only do many people look down on those who suffer but the people who suffer usually do so in silence. when in the throes of depression one is left feeling so helpless, alone, and believing that noone else could possibly understand or would care enough to try. It's a lonely disease, and reaching out can be difficult, not just because of the view society has regarding this, but because of one's own fear. By talking openly and honestly about this very real disease you are opening the door for those less strong by showing them that they are not alone and giving them the strength to reach out to others. You are helping open the minds of those who don't understand and bridging the gap between the two. That is a pretty tall feat for anyone, and very brave for you to step up and talk about something so personal! There are not many people who could do that. So, thank you for being who you are!
Another Nut
~ August 1st, 2009 ~ 20:08Yes you are brave! Courage is measured in scars.
