Confessions of a Bad Mother

I feel the need to confess some of my latest parenting blunders, to unburden myself and declare a clean start.  Here is the latest litany of mishaps…

1. I forgot Alexa wasn’t strapped into her pushchair and tipped her out onto the road

2. I have taken to plugging her into the TV when she gets crabby

3. I always forget to put suncream on her, and she has a pretty decent tan which is an achievement in England

4. I let her play with toothpicks because it keeps her amused when I’m cooking

5. The other day I lost her in Primark.  She was hiding inside a clothes rack and thought it was really funny.  I didn’t.

6. She told a sweet elderly lady in Budgens that she was a monkey, and before I told her off, I laughed.  The lady didn’t find it amusing at all.

7. When she has a really bad tangle in her hair, I sometimes cut it out with scissors

8. She picked up a piece of chewing gum of the ground and popped it in her mouth before I could get to it, and when I couldn’t prize her jaws apart to get it out, I just left her chewing it.

Okay, that actually made me feel worse, and now I feel really sorry for baby two who has no idea the risk she is running being born to such a mother.