Out of control

Alexa was awarded Worker of the Week at school today for trying and trying and not giving
up at the hoola hoop.  She told me I needed to get her a hoola hoop so she can practice at home too.  She is very motivated by affirmation.  And stickers.

I need to learn what motivates Charis, because right now I feel like the batteries in my remote control are dead.  Telling her to stop throwing her roasted butternut squash on the floor served to get her
lobbing the peppers and courgettes after it. The threat of a pudding embargo bounced off her, so I put her on the bottom step. Which she got off.

Two hundred times.

At which point my back twinged and I gave up.  She went back to the table and lobbed a few more bits of veg, just to rub it in.

I read a great parenting book recently called LovingYour Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk.
His Big Idea is that the goal in raising your children is not to control them but to build connection with them so that you can influence them to make good choices via your relationship.  He says this is how God is a father to us- he wants us to love him so that we choose to live in a way that honours our relationship.

I would like to be the kind of mother who has a strong bond with her children, and whose children
live and breathe to please her.  But I would also like to control them.  A bit of control would make me feel very good.  Probably a good thing that God is God and not me.

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