Off roading

Over the past couple of months, I have felt as though I have been driving a land rover across a furrowed field scattered with landmines.  I am clinging to the steering wheel, steering as best I can and focussing on some point on the horizon where things look like they might level out a bit.  Now and then the vehicle blows up and I get thrown out.  But then it is possible to patch it up and keep going, and even make a bit of progress.

All that is happening is that we are moving, and various things are in the air with my work life.  I am well aware that most people live through worse without drawing parallels with driving over explosive devices.  I have always had a touch of the dramatic in my emotional makeup!  But here is the thing- we experience life as the person that we are, and with out own distinctive limitations.  Mine are that I don’t do transition well, that relationships are very, very important to me, and that my mental health is not as robust as I’d like it to be.

In the middle of this bumpy ride, I have been held by the words of Psalm 23, and I am finding David’s experience of God resonates with mine.  I lack nothing- God is providing me, moment by moment, with green pastures and still waters.  He is guiding my steps.  I do fear, but when I remember that he is with me, the fear subsides (a bit!). His goodness and love is unchanging and relentless.  And my deepest place of home is in him, a place that I will never have to leave.

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